only if we run a train.
done.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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