i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
