You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
