I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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