no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
