You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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