I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
