the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
