I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
