oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
