he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize