Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
