so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
