Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
