if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
