The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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