he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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