halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
