Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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