Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
