Define "chronic" masturbator.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
