IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
