I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
