Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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