i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
