Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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