two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Randomize
