you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
