i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
