If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
