I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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