It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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