I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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