Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
