Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
