Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
