There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
