I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
