Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
