Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
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