It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
