My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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