Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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