i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
