i will never coherently bang her
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
