He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
