32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Bang-toberfest begins!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize