We're like a lot better than the average bears
I didn't shave. On purpose
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
