Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize