you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
