They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
