why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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