unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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