She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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