There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
