she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
