I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
