my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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