He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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