so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
