I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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