I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
