im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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