I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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