i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I could fuck to npr.
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