Welp...herpes.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
