I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
